Flying With an Infant

As if merely taking a baby out in public wasn't challenging enough, try traveling with one! Actually Eddie was quite a good little traveler, it was just a logistical challenge. In this post I'll describe the trials and tribulations of travelling with a 6-week-old baby, and I'll save the details of our actual vacation for the next post.

We flew Southwest as usual. I used the SuperShuttle van service, which I highly recommend, to get to the airport, as I did not feel like driving to the airport at 4am then paying to park for 6 days. The driver and I had some difficulty installing Eddie's car seat but we eventually figured it out. I used the curbside check-in service and checked Eddie's car seat and Snugrider. I carried Eddie in his Moby Wrap, put the diaper backpack on my back and rolled a small suitcase full of everything that wouldn't fit in the backpack. After showing Eddie's birth certificate and obtaining his Boarding Verification Document and my boarding pass, we were ready to embark on this journey.

Of course we had to go through security before getting to the terminal, and I foolishly chose to take Eddie to the restroom and change his diaper first. By the time we left the restroom the line at the security checkpoint was a mile long! But the people around us were really nice, and one gentleman lifted that dastardly suitcase onto the conveyor belt for me. That left me free to fish out my ID and boarding pass, which I'd forgotten about since I was so consumed with getting my expressed breast milk and quart-size bag of liquids and gels past the TSA staff. And wouldn't you know it, they barely gave either item a glance! I was half-expecting them to test my diaper ointment and hand sanitizer for explosives and possibly put me through a cavity search. Not that I'm complaining. One funny thing - the TSA lady didn't notice Eddie's documentation, just my name on the boarding pass, so she asked "Is his name Chloe too?"

We got to the terminal in plenty of time for me to feed Eddie and myself before boarding the plane. A flight attendant immediately offered to help put my suitcase in the overhead, for which I'll be eternally grateful. I managed to snag a window seat next to an empty middle seat so I could lift my armrest and create some extra hip room. The gentleman on the aisle was polite but quiet, trying to get work done on the plane, so after a while I felt extra brave (not to mention engorged) and decided to try pumping some milk with my wonderful new Medela Swing. I got set up quite discreetly and hit the power button, only to discover the batteries had died. Doh! I'd only used this pump once before so I'm assuming the power button went on & off when it was jostling around in the diaper bag.

We had to change planes in Philadelphia, and we had about an hour layover between flights. I figured this would be plenty of time to find a ladies' room, change Eddie's diaper, and either breastfeed him or buy some batteries for the pump... Wrong! Due to ongoing construction at Philadelphia Airport we had to go through an unsecured area to get from Terminal D to Terminal E, which meant we had to go through security AGAIN. This sucked! I was already feeling stressed from going through security in Nashville, plus my boobs were really starting to hurt and I had to pee and I wanted to change Eddie's diaper before we got on our next plane. And of course the TSA guy made me feel like some kind of cretin because I couldn't put away my ID and boarding pass and bag of liquids & gels AND take off my shoes in one fell swoop. Sorry buddy, I grew a child inside my body, not an extra pair of hands outside it! I was so flustered by the time I got past the metal detector that I left my suitcase on the conveyor belt! Luckily a nice gentleman behind me in line managed to catch up to me with the suitcase very quickly. I met a few angels on this trip...

Once I had my shoes back on I checked the time, realizing that we had 25 minutes before our flight took off. Yikes! Thanks a lot, City of Brotherly Love, for sucking away 35 minutes of our lives that we'll never get back. I got to the ladies' room, managed to pee and attempted to breastfeed Eddie while sitting on the toilet, which lasted about 5 seconds because neither one of us could get comfortable. (Yes, I know there are bathrooms on airplanes, but they are not designed for people with substantial asses. Neither are the aisles for that matter.) Checked the time again and realized I wouldn't have time to change Eddie's diaper. That didn't exactly me feel like mother of the year! I did have a bottle for him however, so he wasn't going to go hungry, and I had just enough time to stop at the sundries shop for AA batteries before getting in line.

We boarded the flight without incident and a nice man put my suitcase in the overhead for me. Shortly before takeoff a flight attendant informed me that I couldn't have Eddie in his carrier during takeoff and landing "for security reasons." Apparently somebody at Southwest, or perhaps at TSA or FAA, feels that parents should have both hands on their baby during takeoff and landing. That would make it awfully hard to put on our oxygen masks should a need arise, but whatever, I'm no aviation safety expert. We took off and landed without incident, and I managed to pump a little milk so my breasts weren't aching quite so much. And once again Eddie slept through most of the flight, so nobody gave me any crap about him. In fact he received several compliments, both for his behavior and his cuteness.

Rich's stepfather met us at Manchester Airport. Our Snugrider came through the baggage claim right away, and we grabbed the car seat next to it, only to realize it wasn't my car seat. Oops! So we put it back on the belt and I described Eddie's car seat to How, so he could watch for it while I changed the diaper. I expected third-degree diaper rash burns by this time but Ed was fine. He did celebrate this temporary "freedom" by peeing all over the place, so I had to change his clothes too. This made the quick diaper change take about 20 minutes and I kept apologizing to the moms in line behind me who wanted to use the diaper changing station, but they were all really nice about it. They were veteran moms who understood. By the time I got out of there How had located Eddie's car seat and we were ready to roll. I'll blog further about the visit in my next post.

*************************************************************************************

Cut to 6 days later. My brother Randy drove us to Manchester Airport, which is about 10 minutes from his house. This time I decided to check my suitcase, and I was all set to pay the $25 extra baggage fee, but they counted the car seat and stroller frame as one item so I didn't have to pay the fee. That made me very happy! Also I left my winter coat behind, since I've never worn it in Tennessee and the next time I wear it will probably be next winter so he can meet me at the airport with it. That made one less cumbersome thing to drag around. A very nice woman helped me get Eddie out of his snowsuit while we were waiting in line, that made things much easier. And this time I was smart enough to change Eddie after going through security. Good thing, because he chose this moment to kick off the Peepee Teepee and peed all over himself, so I had to change his clothes too. Fun fun...

Once he was changed we had very little waiting time before our flight was called. A couple of flight attendants came by to coo over him, which was very nice. This kid's fan club grows every time we leave the house! We didn't have to change planes this time but we did stop in Baltimore before continuing to Nashville, and that gave me an opportunity to change his diaper again without risking him peeing on anybody - how mortifying would that be? Eddie slept for most of the trip but unexpectedly woke up and got fussy shortly before we landed in Nashville. Fortunately I had a bottle and a pacifier at the ready.

When we got off the plane the flight crew had our stroller and car seat waiting for us, which was wonderful! And a nice flight attendant unfolded the stroller for me without my having to ask - also a great customer service move. Rich met me at the baggage claim, we collected my suitcase and got Eddie back to the car without any issues. Once again, as much as I miss New England, when I travel without Rich I miss him more. And Eddie was very happy to see his Daddy!

In summary, these are Chloe's Travel Tips for Flying Alone With a Baby:

• Get through security first, then check the baby's diaper!
• Use a front carrier to get your baby around. This is a must! It frees up your hands to fish for your ID, boarding pass, cash, etc. Of course you'll need to take the baby out during takeoff and landing but it's fine for the rest of the flight, and for getting around the airport.
  
• Wear slip-on shoes. Check your sneaks or snow boots or whatever else. It's worth the time and effort you save by not having to tie your shoes while juggling an infant and whatever else you're carrying.
  
• If you're breastfeeding, bring a manual or battery-operated breast pump and pack it in the diaper bag. This is less about feeding the baby than about your physical comfort. Going 5-6 hours without nursing or pumping is gonna hurt! If you use the battery-operated kind, leave the battery compartment empty until it's time to pump. And pack extra batteries!
  
• If your baby likes pacifiers, put one on a string with a clip and clip it to your shirt or your front carrier. You don't want your baby wailing because he or she spat out a $3 piece of silicone and wants it back!
• Speaking of pacifiers, you definitely want your baby to suck on something during takeoff and landing to equalize the pressure in his or her ears. A pacifier or bottle is great for that. If you breastfeed and are comfortable doing so on the plane, I've heard that also works well and will comfort your baby. In a pinch, have the baby suck on your finger.
  
• Just because you can bring one carry-on and one personal bag onto the plane doesn't mean you should. Put everything you need into a generously-sized diaper bag and check the rest.
• Don't let the 3-1-1 rule freak you out. Obey it, of course, but in all likelihood they're not going to check your bag of toiletries for traces of explosives. At least they didn't with me. They just had me put the baggie in the plastic bin with my cell phone and shoes, and barely glanced at it. Same thing with the breast milk I brought along. Get your ID and boarding pass out first, worry about the other crap later. And speaking of liquids and gels:
  
• You don't need to put things like travel-size shampoo in your carry-on because you will not need them on the plane! If they lose your checked luggage you can buy shampoo when you land. If you're stuck in the airport for 3 days and have to wash your hair in the bathroom sink, you won't care what brand you're using. Use the 3-1-1 rule for things like diaper ointment and hand sanitizer, maybe some Mylicon drops for gas or saline drops for stuffy noses. You won't need any other liquids or gels during your flight.
• Pack enough diapers for 2-3 days of being stuck in the airport in an emergency. If you're stranded longer than that I'm sure the airline or TSA or the Red Cross will hook you up. Unless you're traveling to a third-world country, chances are there's a supermarket or Walmart or someplace else to buy diapers when you reach your destination. And in all likelihood you'll run out at some point on your trip anyway.
• Pack a baby nail clipper in your checked luggage or plan to buy one during your visit. It's amazing how much their nails grow in just a couple of days!
  
• Lastly, remember that there are nice people out there. Flight attendants, fellow passengers, and most TSA employees are human beings too. A lot of them are parents and know how it is, and the ones who don't have kids generally have at least one child in their life who they love. They get it.
  

If Not Now, When?

Questions:

• How old does a child have to be before he or she is "old enough" to go out in public?
• How do you feel about babies and children who cry or throw tantrums in public?
• How do you feel about their parents?

Rich and Eddie and I went out to dinner Friday night. It was the first night out for us since Eddie was born 5 weeks ago. We had a lovely dinner at Applebee's and Eddie slept through most of it, then got fussy toward the end of the meal. (NOTE: Eddie is not a particularly fussy baby, he just cries when he's hungry or uncomfortable or just wants to be held.) I figured his diaper was messy (I was right) and took him to the restroom. This took about 20-30 minutes, due to his fondness for pooping again during the changing process and for peeing all over his clothes. When I brought him back to the table in his fresh diaper and clean new outfit, I discovered that Rich had paid the bill despite my insistence that dinner was my treat. It turns out Rich was very upset about Eddie having cried in public and just wanted to get out of there ASAP. But I didn't know that yet...

Then we went to Target because we were almost out of diaper rash cream and I wanted to get a few other things. We were already in a hostile mood because 1.) I had screwed up backing out of our parking spot at Applebee's, and when Rich called me on it I got upset and insisted that he take over the driving, and 2.) I noticed that Rich had not buckled Eddie into his car seat properly, which left his upper body vulnerable in the event of an accident. When we got out of the car Eddie started crying again, partly because Mommy and Daddy were arguing and also because it had gotten colder and it took me a few minutes to get his car seat attached to our wonderful new SnugRider stroller frame. Rich managed to calm him down, only for him to start up again once we got inside the store. So Rich took Eddie out of his car seat/stroller to comfort him, which would have been fine if it hadn't left me to push a shopping cart AND a stroller! And of course Rich wouldn't give Eddie back to me to put in our new Moby Wrap, which might have calmed Eddie down. So we argued about it for the next 10 minutes (I cut my shopping time way short!) and Rich didn't say a word to me the whole ride home. That's not like us. We rarely argue and never give each other the silent treatment! So this made for quite an unpleasant end to what should have been a fun, romantic evening.

When we got home I asked him why he was so mad. It turns out that he was very upset about Eddie having cried in public! He feels that it's inexcusably rude to subject other shoppers and diners to one's child's fussy behavior. I agree that it's annoying when you're trying to shop or enjoy a nice dinner and the kid at the next table starts crying. But Eddie wasn't crying loudly, mostly because we attended to him before he got too upset. He was harder to calm down at Target, probably because of the bright lights or his parents' arguing or both. And in both situations we obviously did our best to calm Eddie down and address what was bothering him. That, IMHO, makes us very different from parents who ignore their children's public crying episodes or temper tantrums or misbehavior.

Those brief episodes at Applebee's and Target convinced Rich that Eddie was too young to be out in public with us. Rich suggested we not take him to a restaurant or store again until he's old enough to tell us what's bothering him when he gets upset. I countered that he won't be able to do so effectively until he hits the Terrible Two's, when he'll be ripe for public temper tantrums. And tantrums will continue in one way or another throughout childhood and adolescence. We cannot keep our kid inside until he's 18, tempting though it may be. Sure, I'd love to make it so that other members of the general public never hear my child cry or yell. But it's going to happen from time to time. It's simply our choice to either handle it like responsible people or bury our heads in the sand. I'm opting for the former and so is Rich.

Anyway, what do you think? Is 5 weeks too young for a trip to Target and a casual dining meal at 5pm? If so, how old should he be before we take him out again? How old were your kids when you took them out in public for the first time, and how did they behave?

Another Frickin' Rite of Passage

No, I'm not talking about moving in with my boyfriend 1100 miles from our hometowns. I'm talking about the two gray hairs I found this morning. Just as I was returning to my natural hair color. Damn it!

*sigh*

Keep It In Your Mouth - Or At Least In the Dugout

An open letter to all professional baseball players:

Please refrain from spitting during the singing/playing/recording of the national anthem! Or anthems, if you're at the Rogers Centre or the Toronto BlueJays are playing you at your home field.

If you can't chew gum or tobacco without spitting, keep it in your pocket until the pretty song is over. And sorry, I don't care how dry your mouth gets on the field. Swallow, damn it!

F'd Up Sight of the Day

Driving (well, riding in Rich's truck) up Route 128 (major state highway linked with I-95) during rush hour, we observed a driver reading a book. Specifically a paperback novel held between her hands, which appeared to be situated at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel.

Driver (noun): One who operates a motor vehicle
Rush hour (noun): Busy-ass time of day on roads or public transit
Book (noun): Something that should be read when one is not DRIVING!!!!!

WTF is wrong with people? I'm quite the bookworm myself. I read at home, at other people's homes, on the T, in cafes, in bookstores, in libraries, even in food courts full of screaming toddlers... but I don't read while I'm driving. Because I value my life and the lives of those around me.

Quadruple Jeopardy

Rich & I signed up last week to take part in tonight's online Jeopardy! tryouts. Like a good doobie, I was signed on and ready 20 minutes ahead of time, getting more and more excited as the timeclock ticked down...

10 seconds before the start of the test, my computer shut itself off.

(insert expletives here)

My "Fat Pants" Are Too Tight!!!!!

'nuff said

Concert Review

My beloved and I recently attended a George Strait concert at the DCU Center in Worcester (formerly the Centrum). Opening acts were Miranda Lambert and Tracy Lawrence. I've graded various aspects of the performances, venue, commute, etc as such:

George Strait's Performance: A+
"King" George and his band Ace In the Hole played a great set. One neat-o thing about country music is that most of the musicians who make it big are genuinely talented people. Unlike many record company-manufactured pop acts who rely heavily on pitch control and other studio trickery, country stars usually sound just as great live as they do on the record. Favorites like "Amarillo By Morning" were as heartbreaking as they were pitch-perfect.

Tracy Lawrence's Performance: A
Unfortunately I was not in the audience for most of Tracy's set (see "Concession Stands" below). What I did hear sounded quite nice. Tracy is one of those country radio regulars whose voice and style you might not immediately realize is his, but we all sing and hum along to his stuff. He also sang a powerful tribute to our military servicemen and women without being sappy or hawkish, for which I give him mad props. (Do people say "mad props" anymore?)

Miranda Lambert's Performance: A+
We've been fans of Miranda's for quite some time now. She's an energetic performer with a voice that's both strong and melodic, serious guitar chops and a songwriting gift that belies her 22 years. She's also really gorgeous in a wholesome, unpretentious way. Miranda and her band got the ball rolling in electric (and acoustic) style. And Rich & I stood up, singing along with every word.

Backstage Meet-and-Greet: A-
As members of Ran Fans, the official Miranda Lambert fan club, we were invited to meet Miranda backstage after her set. Her security was a little tighter than at our previous meetings, but that's a reflection of her growing fame and success. We had a nice time chatting with fellow Ran Fans, some of whom we recognized from previous shows, while waiting in line backstage.

Miranda herself was very gracious, happy to pose for pictures and sign autographs. She signed two pictures Rich took of her at FanFair in Nashville last June, and our copy of Country Weekly with our pictures at her Ran Fans club party (I'm kneeling in the front row, Rich is in back holding her up with a bunch of other dudes). And yes, she's just as adorable up close as she is in print. Yet Rich still came home with me...

Driving To & From: B
Getting to the Worcester area was easy enough, but the on-ramp for our exit was backed up a few miles, mostly by drivers wearing cowboy hats. (Country music is more popular here than you'd think, and it'd been eight years since George Strait had performed in New England.)

After waiting in bumper-to-bumper for about 15 minutes we decided to skip ahead to the next exit, past Rotman's (Fan-tastic!) and made our way through a few one way streets to the DCU Center. We parked in the Worcester Common Outlets garage for $20 and crossed two streets, aided by traffic cops. I noted for future reference that the Worcester Commuter Rail is a short walk from the DCU Center.

Concession Stands: D-
As I previously mentioned, I missed most of Tracy Lawrence's set because I was standing in a looooonngg frickin' line to purchase two $3 bottles of water. (Rich and I were both parched after singing along to Miranda's songs.) Dunno what the people at the front of the line were buying, but two of them were at the counter for close to 20 minutes, apparently getting refreshments for their entire row or something. Jerks.

Once I got to the register the service was fast and friendly, but it pissed me off that I had to miss almost a full set waiting to buy overpriced Aquafina. Maybe it'd be more efficient if they had one line for beer and another for everything else? I also noted for future reference that while the beer selection was decent, they charge $5.75 per beer. Yikes! Next time I'm sticking a 40 oz in my vagina to smuggle it past security, damn it!
(Just kidding, that would probably hurt and the beer would get warm.)

Merchandise Table: B+
Variety was good for all three featured acts. We each spent $30 on a Miranda shirt, both of which I later found online for $20 each. Doh! But $30 isn't unreasonable, I've seen concert tees that cost well over $50. The service was friendly and, unlike the concession stands, we didn't have to wait long to make our purchases.

All in all, a good night. I give it an A for Excellent.

More Thoughts on the Emergency Broadcast System

Why do they test it at 12:45 am when I'm watching a commercial for Monster Ballads on Comedy Central? Why can't I listen to uninterrupted snippets of cheesy power ballads?

Disturbing Is . . .

Walking in on your mother watching "101 Sexiest Bodies" on E! with the sound turned off.

Yikes!

Thought For the Day

The mute button is your friend. Especially during untimely tests of the emergency broadcast system.

Top Five

Here's a list of my top five favorite (or least favorite) things, as ripped off from "High Fidelity" (great movie, better book):

Five Favorite Fruits, not counting Elton John
(sorry Mom, couldn't resist):
1. Strawberries
2. Blueberries
3. Apples
4. Oranges
5. Bananas

Five Favorite Vegetables (insert outdated Terri Schiavo joke here):
1. Tomatoes
2. Cucumbers
3. Broccoli
4. Corn
5. Cauliflower

Five Favorite Power Ballads (so bad they're good):
1. "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner
2. "Open Arms" by Journey
3. "The Flame" by Cheap Trick
4. "When the Children Cry" by White Lion
5. "Winds of Change" by Scorpion

Five Favorite Stand-Up Comics:
1. George Carlin
2. Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P.)
3. Richard Pryor
4. Margaret Cho
5. Jeff Foxworthy/Ron White/Bill Engvall (3-way tie)

Five Favorite Places to Shop for Clothing Baaahgins:
1. Garment District
2. Filene's Basement
3. TJ Maxx
4. Marshall's
5. Walgreens - it takes some sorting through bins, but you can find yourself some very comfy sweats, PJs, socks, mittens etc.

Five Ways I Won Rich's Heart:
1. Spilling salad dressing on my shirt on our first date
2. Blowing a huge bubble resulting in gum stuck to my glasses
3. Learning all the words to "Long Haired Country Boy" by Charlie Daniels, AND singing along when Joe Nichols performed it at FanFair last June
4. Hocking a lungie out the window of his truck while driving down Route 1
5. Buying him socks

Five Favorite Childhood Memories:
1. Eating a lobster-shaped red candy lollipop
2. Dancing in the basement with my life-size Grover doll
3. Sledding downhill for several hours in below-freezing temperatures, then going inside and drinking mug after mug of cocoa
4. Sucking on my chlorine-infused hair after "free swim" at the Y
5. The swings

Five Shows I Try Not to Miss:
1. Daily Show
2. The Colbert Report
3. House
4. Boston Legal
5. Letterman

Five Shows I Often Miss and Feel Bad About It:
1. Family Guy
2. The Simpsons
3. Degrassi: Next - I'm about a season and a half behind!
4. Letterman, because he's on at the same time as Stephen Colbert
5. Inside the Actors Studio

Five Girls I'd Go Gay For:
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones
3. Maria Sharapova - How does she exert herself that hard and still look so good? 5 minutes on a treadmill and I'm a sweaty red-faced freak!
4. Kate Winslet
5. Kiera Knightley

Five Celebrity Couples I'd Happily Never Hear From Again:
1. Britney and Kevin
2. Hilary Duff and her dog-faced sister
3. Paris Hilton and whoever she's fucking at the moment
4. Carson Daly and his dumbass show
5. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who I actually used to respect

Five Favorite Places I've Visited:
1. St. George's, Bermuda
2. St. Petersburg, Russia
3. San Francisco
4. Copenhagen
5. Porvoo, Finland

Five Places I'd Like to Visit Someday:
1. Venice
2. Paris
3. Morocco
4. Santorini
5. The Panama Canal

Five Pet Peeves:
1. Finding a dead bug in my glass after finishing most of my drink
2. Camel toes
3. Underwires that stick up way too high and poke me in the armpit
4. Umbrella-busting gusts of wind
5. Realizing I missed a spot after shaving my legs

I may add more later. And feel free to comment with your own lists!

The Reason Insurance Rates Are So High In This City

Apparently in downtown Lynn, if you see a red light, a walk signal, and a pedestrian in the crosswalk, you don't stop. Instead you STEP ON IT hard enough for said pedestrian to hear a loud SQUEEEEAAAAKKKK!!!! as you accelerate through said crosswalk.

She missed me by about a foot. Work on your aim, bitch!