Things I never thought I'd say

"Honey, please don't put that teething ring back in your mouth after you've rubbed it on the cat's asshole."

Playing catch up (or is it ketchup? catsup?)

OK... I haven't blogged since March. It's now August. I'll bring you up to speed:

Eddie is 7 months old, weighs 18 lbs and measures 26.5 inches. He has 3 teeth and we're expecting tooth #4, the top left front tooth, any day now. I can see it through his gum. Teething sucks, our poor baby is in pain all the time! We use a lot of Baby Orajel and he has some nice teething toys and a teething blanket. Though his favorite teething toy is his hand or my finger. Typical. He has a little cold right now but I have it too so he's getting my antibodies in his milk.

He looks more and more like his daddy every day! Except for the coloring, he has blue eyes like I did and his hair is an indescribable color - alternately red, blond or light brown depending on the light. Rich has several redheads in his family and I kinda hope Eddie got the red hair gene, but we'll see what happens.

Eddie's starting to crawl! He's been commando-crawling on his belly for weeks, and lately he's been getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth. He'll be putting both skills together any day now. And he rolls around all the time! I have to put one leg across his belly when I change his diapers. Otherwise he rolls away from me and gets poop all over the place.

We're still breastfeeding, and Eddie has been eating solid foods for over a month now. His cousin Sylvie was kind enough to give him her gently-used high chair, which makes feeding much easier. We mostly feed him Beechnut baby food but he also gets Earth's Best or Gerber Organic here and there, and a few times I've pureed carrots or bananas for him. He's up to 2 solid meals a day and we nurse before and after, since breastmilk is still his primary source of nutrition. Usually he gets 2 vegetables or a veggie and fruit at lunch, then at dinner we mix a fruit or a vegetable with rice cereal and pumped breastmilk. His favorites are peas and sweet potatoes. He'll also eat carrots and most fruits, but he didn't like the chicken or turkey baby food. I tried it myself and the texture is a little tacky, maybe we'll hold off on meat & poultry till he can chew more thoroughly. By September he should be eating 3 solid food meals a day, then we can introduce the stage 2 foods. As far as weaning is concerned I plan on introducing whole milk around his first birthday, and continue to offer the breast until he doesn't want it anymore. We'll leave it up to him unless we really need to wean him completely.

We've also made some new friends! I found a wonderful playgroup of local parents and kids. Eddie's the youngest in the group, the next oldest is a year older than him and the rest range from 2-10 years. The moms in the group are great, very down-to-earth people who've really made me feel at home. The kids are a lot of fun too, I'm getting a preview of what's in store for Eddie down the road, and the other moms and older kids enjoy him too. We usually meet once a week at a local playground, or if the weather doesn't cooperate we go to McDonald's so the kids can use the play area. We've had some birthday parties lately for both adults and kids, and a group of us went to the zoo last month. Got some great pics of that! There's a picnic in the works for later this month, and a BBQ next month, plus a girls' night out at some point. Rich also went along for a guys' night with some of the other husbands. The guys are great too and he enjoys hanging out with them. I'm so glad to have such great friends down here!

OK I'm heading to bed. Got a full day ahead of us tomorrow - playgroup, errands, and getting Eddie over his cold.

If Not Now, When?

Questions:

• How old does a child have to be before he or she is "old enough" to go out in public?
• How do you feel about babies and children who cry or throw tantrums in public?
• How do you feel about their parents?

Rich and Eddie and I went out to dinner Friday night. It was the first night out for us since Eddie was born 5 weeks ago. We had a lovely dinner at Applebee's and Eddie slept through most of it, then got fussy toward the end of the meal. (NOTE: Eddie is not a particularly fussy baby, he just cries when he's hungry or uncomfortable or just wants to be held.) I figured his diaper was messy (I was right) and took him to the restroom. This took about 20-30 minutes, due to his fondness for pooping again during the changing process and for peeing all over his clothes. When I brought him back to the table in his fresh diaper and clean new outfit, I discovered that Rich had paid the bill despite my insistence that dinner was my treat. It turns out Rich was very upset about Eddie having cried in public and just wanted to get out of there ASAP. But I didn't know that yet...

Then we went to Target because we were almost out of diaper rash cream and I wanted to get a few other things. We were already in a hostile mood because 1.) I had screwed up backing out of our parking spot at Applebee's, and when Rich called me on it I got upset and insisted that he take over the driving, and 2.) I noticed that Rich had not buckled Eddie into his car seat properly, which left his upper body vulnerable in the event of an accident. When we got out of the car Eddie started crying again, partly because Mommy and Daddy were arguing and also because it had gotten colder and it took me a few minutes to get his car seat attached to our wonderful new SnugRider stroller frame. Rich managed to calm him down, only for him to start up again once we got inside the store. So Rich took Eddie out of his car seat/stroller to comfort him, which would have been fine if it hadn't left me to push a shopping cart AND a stroller! And of course Rich wouldn't give Eddie back to me to put in our new Moby Wrap, which might have calmed Eddie down. So we argued about it for the next 10 minutes (I cut my shopping time way short!) and Rich didn't say a word to me the whole ride home. That's not like us. We rarely argue and never give each other the silent treatment! So this made for quite an unpleasant end to what should have been a fun, romantic evening.

When we got home I asked him why he was so mad. It turns out that he was very upset about Eddie having cried in public! He feels that it's inexcusably rude to subject other shoppers and diners to one's child's fussy behavior. I agree that it's annoying when you're trying to shop or enjoy a nice dinner and the kid at the next table starts crying. But Eddie wasn't crying loudly, mostly because we attended to him before he got too upset. He was harder to calm down at Target, probably because of the bright lights or his parents' arguing or both. And in both situations we obviously did our best to calm Eddie down and address what was bothering him. That, IMHO, makes us very different from parents who ignore their children's public crying episodes or temper tantrums or misbehavior.

Those brief episodes at Applebee's and Target convinced Rich that Eddie was too young to be out in public with us. Rich suggested we not take him to a restaurant or store again until he's old enough to tell us what's bothering him when he gets upset. I countered that he won't be able to do so effectively until he hits the Terrible Two's, when he'll be ripe for public temper tantrums. And tantrums will continue in one way or another throughout childhood and adolescence. We cannot keep our kid inside until he's 18, tempting though it may be. Sure, I'd love to make it so that other members of the general public never hear my child cry or yell. But it's going to happen from time to time. It's simply our choice to either handle it like responsible people or bury our heads in the sand. I'm opting for the former and so is Rich.

Anyway, what do you think? Is 5 weeks too young for a trip to Target and a casual dining meal at 5pm? If so, how old should he be before we take him out again? How old were your kids when you took them out in public for the first time, and how did they behave?

Can't say he doesn't try...

CHLOE: Hey babe, can you get me a fresh sleep-n-play out of the clean laundry basket? Eddie wet this one.

RICH: What's a sleep-n-play?

CHLOE: It's a one-piece full-body garment, like little pajamas.

(RICH reaches into laundry basket, holds up an article of clothing and looks at CHLOE for confirmation.)

CHLOE: No honey, those are my panties.

(RICH puts down the panties, shakes his head and leaves the room.)

The Journey Home... and Back... and Other Stories

That's what I'll be calling my anthology if I ever get around to amassing one.

I flew home the last weekend of September. Specifically I flew Southwest from Nashville to Manchester NH with a changeover in Baltimore. I'd been scheduled for an earlier flight that was overbooked, and they were taking volunteers to be bumped in exchange for a voucher for the price of that day's flight plus $100. Can you blame me if I took it? The change in itinerary was relatively painless, as it only made me about 20 minutes later than planned. The only problem was squeezing my big ass into my seat. They do not design airplane seats for pregnant women, especially the ones who were large to begin with!

But I survived and got to Manchester in one piece. Randy & Alayna kindly picked me up at the airport and put me up for the night. Of course I'd barely managed any sleep the night before and was pooped from the flight, but the fresh air perked me up from comatose to loopy. (Sorry if I said anything weirder than usual guys!) We hung out at their place for a few hours and I got to play with their dogs, Maggie and Sam, and their doggie cousin Isobelle. Their cat Buffy said hello to me too. Later that night we returned Izzy to her parents' house in Malden, and I got to see Paige and Sylvie, which was wonderful. Sylvie had her heart surgery a few days before but you'd never know it! After hanging out for a while and picking Paige's brain about mommy stuff, we went to Bertucci's for dinner. There's a dearth of decent Italian food in Nashville and I needed some chicken marsala like nobody's business!

The next day Randy & Alayna drove me down to Lynn for the baby shower. Peggy, my future mother-in-law, did a wonderful job organizing the shower and making lots of good food for everybody. My mom secured the function room at the senior housing development she used to managed (she just retired) so we had a free place to host it. We had a real good turnout, about 30 friends and relatives, and it was so great to see everybody! Of course it was a little overwhelming to sit and open all those presents while everyone else watched. Normally I only open that many gifts at Christmas when everyone else is opening theirs too... but I got over it. We were given all kinds of things that we need and want for the baby. I probably won't need to buy him clothes till kindergarten! Later that night I got all teary-eyed talking to Rich, telling him how much everybody loves us and our baby. Words can't begin to express our gratitude for such an outpouring of kindness and generosity. Me at the shower with my pregnant belly:


And this is me with Peggy, my wonderful mother-in-law-elect:


I spent the next few days at my mom and Mary's. They've turned my old bedroom into a den with a twin sofabed, which was perfectly comfy to sleep on. We had some nice quiet times hanging out, and I got to visit my favorite local eateries, Brothers Deli and Gulu-Gulu Cafe. And I taught Mary a few things about baseball. Wednesday morning I had an appointment in Salem, then I had lunch at Beer Works and went for a walk downtown. I made the mistake of going into a posh baby & maternity boutique and bought a little white baby hat. It cost about 5-10 times what I would normally pay but it is so soft and fuzzy and warm, it'll be perfect for the winter. And the saleswoman told me it was handmade by a woman in Soho - at least I'm not paying through the nose for sweatshop labor! As long as Rich doesn't see the price tag we're good. I also bought Zorro a new collar at the local pet boutique (Salem is so gentrified these days). It's blue like his eyes, and has rhinestones and a little bell. It's beautiful and Zorro deserves it.

Thursday afternoon I met Peggy at the mall. We went crib shopping at Sears, Babies R Us, Baby Depot and WalMart, in that order, before deciding on the crib and changing table set we'd seen at Sears. We decided Peggy would order the set later, because we were both pooped and she still needed to bake a birthday cake for How, Rich's stepfather. Later that afternoon we visited with Rich's grandfather, which was fun. Gramp is a "tough guy" type with a big heart, and I just adore him. Then we had How's birthday dinner at home and watched the Red Sox win. Good times. A few days later Peggy went back to Sears to order the crib we liked, and it was discontinued! Oh well. I picked a different set from another store, hopefully that one will be in stock and arrive before the baby does.

Friday afternoon I stopped by my old office to say hello to my former boss. It was nice to see her, it had been a while. That night I went into Boston. First I went downtown to Borders to buy thank-you cards for all those shower gifts, then bummed around Faneuil Hall for a while before meeting up with my friends for dinner. It was Isabel, Melissa, Cheryl, Cymara & Dan and their little girl Clarissa. We went to G'vanni's in the North End. It's a little pricier than my usual dining haunts but how often am I in Boston? The food was excellent and we all had a great time hanging out. After dinner I insisted on stopping at Mike's Pastry for some cannoli and noted with interest that they ship nationwide. Mmmmmm....

Saturday afternoon we went to my mom and Mary's wedding. The wedding was small, about 15-20 people, and they held it in the same place as my baby shower. They had a justice of the peace who did a wonderful job. Randy and I each read a beautiful passage about marriage and love. Here they are exchanging vows:


See? Two women getting married. Did anybody's eyeballs burn out in their sockets? Nah...

It was a quiet, dignified ceremony followed by a fun and relaxed reception. Everyone had a good time. What I'd love to see is for the other 49 states to make same-sex marriage legal, but that's another topic for another post. Here's a shot of the happy couple and their guests:

Standing, Left to Right: Theron, Sylvie, Paige, Randy, Judy, Alayna, Karen, Bob, GayGay, Joanne, Fred, me, Lorna's partner (forgot her name!), Lorna, Rose, Frannie.
Seated: Mary and Susan (my mom)

After the wedding I went back to New Hampshire with Randy & Alayna. We had a quiet dinner and hung out with the doggies. The next morning they drove me back to Manchester for my return flight. This one stopped in Baltimore before continuing to Nashville so I didn't have to change planes, made my life easier. It was gray and drizzly when we left Manchester, and it was such a trip to break through that low layer of clouds up to blue skies and sunshine! When we got close to Nashville I was able to spot some now-familiar landmarks. I even recognized my subdivision - it's pretty close to the airport so we were flying low by then but it was still fun. The boy sitting next to me recognized the field where he played Little League. Cute!

Our flight got in about 20 minutes early - gotta love Southwest - and Rich was waiting for me by the baggage claim. I gave him a big hug and kiss, I'd missed him! Of course I miss Boston too but I guess home really is where the heart is, and my heart belongs to that truck driver of mine. The icing on the cake? Parking at Nashville Airport for 45 minutes cost him $1.50! Would have been at least $20 at Logan. Sometimes the cost-of-living difference really is worth it.

Pregnancy Updates

Yeah... for those of you who haven't been living under an unlisted rock - I'm PREGNANT!

We're having a boy and he's due New Year's Day. Right now I'm in my 20th week and the doctor says everything looks good. We had an ultrasound three weeks ago (duh that's how we know the gender!) and everyone has commented on the impressive size of his head. Let's hope I don't need a C-section! But if I do it's not the end of the world.

Back story... last April my period didn't show up, but I wasn't paying close attention to the calendar and chalked it up to stress and travel since we'd just taken a road trip. Then in early May I noticed that I had to pee all the time, and the clothes I'd bought the week before were too tight, and then I started feeling a little queasy every morning while simultaneously craving foods that were NOT on my diet... So I took a ClearBlue Easy test with a "digital readout" feature, meaning that the word "Pregnant" showed up in a little screen on the dipstick a minute after I'd peed on it. Once I got my knees to stop shaking I shared the information with Rich. We spent the next few hours talking and crying (well the crying was all me) and making up from all the arguments we'd had recently. Eventually we both went to sleep, and in the morning I told Rich I wanted to keep the baby. He said that was fine with him, and the rest is history.

The reason I'd been so upset about the pregnancy was that I did not have health insurance at the time. Plus we were both between jobs; I was temping off and on, and Rich was transitioning back to work after spending a few months day-trading. Not the best situation to bring a baby into... Then a coworker at my temp assignment told me about TennCare, the state Medicaid program, which just about always approves pregnant women. So I applied for TennCare, got an "official" pregnancy test from Planned Parenthood (positive, of course) as proof of my condition, and bided my time for a whole month (yes, a month!) before I was notified to come in and meet with a caseworker. The waiting around sucked of course, and the Department of Human Services place was, in a word, icky. The walls were painted a color I can only describe as "puke blue" and it was hot and crowded and not fun. But after a few hours of waiting (yes you read that correctly) I met with a caseworker who kindly approved me for TennCare coverage. Phew!

I found a very nice OBGYN named Dr. Hamilton, whose office is located at my neighborhood hospital. Due to the TennCare processing time - apparently they take a month to review every application - I was in my 15th week before I could get any prenatal care. But Dr. Hamilton's nurse, Tia, assured me that I hadn't missed much, and that I'd probably saved myself a blood test or two. During this visit Tia checked the baby's heart rate with a Doppler device, and it sounded good and strong! I got all teary-eyed over it... Tia also confirmed that, based on the heart rate, I had correctly ballparked the gestational age.

Two weeks later I had my ultrasound appointment. Rich took the day off from work for this, and we're both very glad he did! If you've never had a baby I can tell you, there's nothing like seeing your unborn child's image on the screen, seeing the heart pumping... it's just incredible. Even Rich, tough guy that he is, was touched. The ultrasound tech was quite a character, and his humor really put us at ease. When he located the baby's genitalia he kindly pointed out the penis and scrotum, and labeled it "Weenie." We have a 9-minute video of the ultrasound session, which yielded these still images:

Rich kindly added his own artistic touch to this image - I had no idea he was so talented!

So anyway Rich has a good job now, and I have health coverage, and we're both very happy and excited. Yes it's not necessarily the best timing but we've accepted that. Our baby will be born to adults who are in love and living together, and who already love the baby very much. We haven't set a date yet but yes, we are planning to get married. We haven't picked a name yet - we're calling him the Player To Be Named Later. And I will try to blog more often and keep you updated on all things baby!

It's A Boy! But We Kinda Expected That...

Congratulations to my cousin Manda and her husband Travis! They welcomed their first child, Jack Robert, to the world at 5:45 am Saturday morning. Young Mr. Gentry weighs in at 6 lbs 6 oz and measures 19 inches in length. Here's a portrait of the new family, courtesy of Jack's Aunt Jessie: